Saturday, July 19, 2008

Classics From The Vault: Round 1 of ATL vs DT from WRC07

Atlanta (Madd Illz/Parable) vs. Detroit (Quest M.C.O.D.Y./Marvwon)

Perp's Opinion:
I've watched a lot of battles. I've seen some absolutely unnecessary asswhoopins delivered to niggas. But this is one of the most brutal and borderline unwatchable massacres in recent battle rap history. It starts out with some good-natured ribbing by Parable, mocking Marvwon's patented Wu-Tang sign as the team from ATL starts off they first round. Now, I've liked Madd Illz and Parable in the past. In 06, I thought they was one of the most consistent teams all-around and while they weren't able to beat the machine that is Illmac and The Saurus, they were able to put a stop to they murder streak. And I really liked Parable, who started off the previous season a bit shaky, but eventually found his groove around battle 4. But all throughout the year, they just seemed a bit too pre-rehearsed, which isn't a bad thing necessarily. You should always have some written ammunition with you just in case things get hairy. But during the regular season, they both just seemed not to have much real passion as they did in 06. The winners from ATL, most certainly, but they lacked that fire that made them such a force.

They started off this battle with some clever, but ultimately overly technical lines which relied WAY too much on multi-syllable rhyme schemes that seemed to just drag on and on and on without any real power. Apparently, the crowd and I shared the same sentiment, as very few of they lines was winning anyone over, although the "If you joined Bone, Thugs 'N Harmony/Your name would be Thigh Bone" was dope. So ended Atlanta's first round. And then there was Detroit. Right from the start, you could tell from Marv's swagger that they were about to dismantle the boys from ATL. "Man, I been waitin' a whole year to get rid of these guys/And prove that this fag is really livin' a lie/Nigga, you don't even like Madd Illz/But you such a lame bitch/That last year you paid for the hotel and plane trip/Nigga, please explain this/I can't stand this garbage/You said he's not a rapper/He's a Subway Sandwich Artist!" Clearly, this is not what Madd Illz and Parable were planning on going up against...nor was it what we were expecting from the Detroit team who had kept us laughing all season with they inimitable style. This wasn't a team out to entertain. This was a team out to destroy. The entire first round is littered with personal shit, essentially detailing Parable's dislike and resentment of his partner which was relayed to Quest and Marv. "So be real, Parable/Tell him how much the shit really costed you/Or how you gettin' upset with him actin' like the boss of you/Or how you beat him a couple times but he front like he never lost to you/Or how in last year's battle, HE'S the reason ya'll lost a few". And the rest of the battle just gets grimier from there, with Marvwon ending the first round with a sleeper that took the crowd a few seconds to really get: "And now that we exposin' ya friend/And the shit is soakin' in/If we was really lyin', else would we know it then?" The battle was already over by that point, but the beating continued on for two more rounds.

Round two has Illz and Parable looking and sounding shook, with they punchlines seeming more hollow by the second. In fact, the only line of any note was from Parable: "You can die in this rhyme battle/His chick is sick/She fuckin' masturbates with knife handles/And pineapples". The only reason I mention that is Quest starts of Detroit's second round with a perfectly placed rebuttle: "This some shit my mind can't channel/She said she jacked off with pineapples/And knife handles/What the fuck are we playin', Rhyme Scrabble?" Then comes the style that we've come to love from Detroit (and will no doubt get bitten this season). Quest drops a heater, dissin' on Parable's voice and hair: "This is not for real/It feel like I done popped a pill/Woke up in a Taco Bell/With a muffuckin' mop that yells" followed by an ill scheme from Marv which references wrestling, video games and Disneyworld all in one and still manages to deliver damage to Madd Illz.

Round 3 is another snoozefest from Atlanta, notable again only for a line by Madd Illz to Quest about looking like Marvin Gaye, which was brilliantly flipped by Quest off the back of Marvwon's rhyme scheme. In fact, both of them was playing off each other's rhyme schemes. Check the opener from them: "You got kicked out the Army for pushin' niggas doodie back/Man, makin' an ass of yo head cuz yo neck look like booty cracks/That's prolly where you dookie at/I had yo momma off a roofie, black/And I titty fucked that ho so long/They call her chest a boobie trap" with Marv followin' up with "Man, fuck these fruity cats/You wanna know an unknown groupie fact?/Remember Parker Louis Can't Lose?/That was Madd Illz who played Kubiak". There had to have been some serious telepathy goin' on with the next huge rhyme scheme, cuz this was so well versed, it almost sounded written. Marv starts out with his relaxed style: "Man, fuck this shit/And yo jacket tight/How can you breathe in that bitch/You gon' die tonight" with Quest pickin' it up and delivering one of the deadliest off-the-top rebuttals in history: "Come back as a 20 piece McNugget in his afterlife/He'll eat his ass up on a savage night/He'll take a savage bite/I'm Marvin Gaye/Yo momma was Gladys Knight". Murderous. Absolutely murderous. But it don't end there as Marv picked it up yet again: "Nigga, yo whole diet is nothin' but snacks and Sprite/Nigga, you bought a ten-speed, got on and cracked yo bike". Battles like this make me wonder why there ain't a ref throwin' in the towel for some of these niggas. Easily the most brutal decimation of any established MCs I've ever seen.

Final question. I'm not sure Atlanta could have won that battle even if they'd be totally on point. The first round was just too personal and basically stole the souls right out of the chests of Illz and Parable. Any MCs reading this, here's a tip: don't trust anyone and don't tell anyone any personal shit about you. You will get ate up by them later on.

khal's Opinion:
Parable looks like Zach de la Rocha's skinny cousin. And what's good with Madd Illz being fat and making fat jokes? I never got that shit... wow I can't get over Parable's voice either. He lucky he came with that thigh bone line at the end. You've also gotta love how Marvwon & Quest puts Parable & Madd Illz' beef out there on front street. This whole battle is done with that first round. Parable ate himself in this battle a year ago. The funny shit is, after that whole exposure in the first round, it's basically a wrap. No matter how many Subway lines or talk about "sliding inside assholes", there's nothing Madd or Parable could say to change the tide. And when Quest and Marv come with the proper wrestling lines (X-Pac/Chyna/DX), the shit makes sense and gets the pop from the crowd. And how the FUCK was anything in this battle "even", Parable? That's the one thing bothering me... cats really are on that "this shit was close", which I guess you have to keep going to save face/keep your spirits up, but really, no way was this battle even going to BE close, how they seriously think the gap didn't get enormously wide after the first round is beyond me.

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