Saturday, July 19, 2008

Classics From The Vault: Round 1 of TO vs LA from WRC07

Toronto (Kid Twist/pooRICH) vs. Los Angeles (Illmaculate/The Saurus)

Perp's Opinion:
Easily one of the hardest battles in the whole competition, this saw some of the most heated verses from either team in the history of WRC. Let's start off with round 1. pooRICH started off with a nice diss to The Saurus over his loss in Round 2 of last year's final. Couple of decent lines and some filler before Kid Twist jumps in with his patented nerdy swag and drops this gem: "Tell your bitch I'm taking her on no dates/Unless the ho pays/You're so gay/Even your teeth go both ways" followed by a ill closer to get the playoffs started right. Then Illmac and Saurus step up to the plate on some too-easy swiddag. Saurus hit Twist with a nice punch about his nerdy persona: "I'm amazin' with rap schemes/The closest you ever came to an athlete/Was playin' for the math team". Round 2 had pooRICH droppin' an ill diss to Illmac's girl: "Cuz ya girl has stretch marks/On her sex parts/And when I titty fuck the bitch/Her chest farts" followed by a few punchlines that were little more than filler. On Illmac and Saurus's rebuttle, Illmac drops a huge punchline to start off the round, reminding everyone why they was last year's champs: "Look at your pitiful arms/He couldn't even split a Swisher cigar/He went to the gym to get hard/And couldn't lift up the bar/Tried to pick up a dumbbell, it nearly ripped him apart/So he said, 'Fuck it, I'd rather be skinny and smart!'" GREASY! Round 3 starts off with some heaters from both Twist and Rich, with the middle of the round having some nice wordplay from Twist, carrying off Rich's rhyme scheme: "And he needed friends so he called Jim Carrey to fix his cable/But someone should have told him my flying dragon kick is fatal/He's so picky about where you put your dick, it's anal". Twist ends the round with a smooth punchline: "And you're trying to blow up like you're lackin' the mass appeal/You either need to cut back on the happy meals/Or do more laps on your hamster wheel". Illmac and Saurus steps up and drop some serious burners back to back: "I know you like faggoty sex/Cuz on the flight here, he was the only cat to request/A cavity check" and "You know how I know that you're a homo?/If you won the money, you'd spend most of it on snowglobes/I know some of your friends and they told me that you're so broke/He makes money on the side posing as a goalpost", leading up to The Saurus' monster punchline that clinched victory for LA: "When we spit, it's errorless/But I don't know why the fuck any people are scared against/This piece of asparagus/And see, the crazy thing to me is that you reek of such arrogance/But secretly, you speak to a therapist/Like, 'I CAN'T BEAT THE AMERICANS!!'" Game locked on that note. Final thoughts...Toronto definitely proved they can rap with the best of 'em and gave Illmac and Thesaurus a run for they money, but in the end, they just couldn't hang with the returning champs, who dropped jaws across the board from judges, fans and competition alike.

khal's Opinion:
I love how I just realized that Mazzi was the host of this shit. Figures, I didn't know who the fuck he was from the jump, and in a year's time I've reviewed and covered his disses and what not. LA vs Toronto, eh? I'm not that versed on actual Canadian MCs, although I know they like that real shit. I gotta give it to pooRICH for bringing up wrestling references that no one gets... except for me. And Kid Twist has that nerdy voice that makes his punchlines that much funnier. That "you're so gay/your teeth go both ways" line killed it. I'm not a fan of pooRICH though, at all. The Saurus is mad amped, which always helps, and while Ill is dope, I think The Saurus was the man in that first round. He didn't have to rely on the gay shit for big laughs. Round 2 is more of the same, with Kid Twist coming dope but poo kind of, well, being weak. Sad thing is they string together nice lines but they don't deliver. The Saurus OWNS this crowd! I wonder how much of that has to do with them already have props, while the Canadian heads are kind of a non-entity before this competition. "This cocky bitch could not be rich". I love that line! What's good with pooRICH and the "a-hole" shit? Kid Twist is saving these cats, as The Saurus is. His combination of vast vocab and animation is a deadly combination. Ill came kind of lame towards the end, but overall, Ill and 'Saurus definitely took this one. Kid Twist is a contender, though - he seems to have lines for days, nahmean? Oh, and I don't think this should have gone to overtime at all. If pooRICH truly thinks another round or 2 would have gotten them over with the crowd, they're wylin'.

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